The Business of Staying Young

Don’t Worry Be Happy!


I’ve something to say to you older folks, and you young folks listen too-
For what I’m about to say, will someday apply to you.

I know that some of you older folks are happily retired,
And have no ties to bind you, and work is no longer required.

So you’re sitting around in idleness, each day becomes a bore, you’re
beginning to start thinking, there’s nothing worth living for.

You’d like to be in some business, but think it’s too late to begin,
Well, I’ll tell you about a business, that all of you can be in.

Be in the business of staying young, make staying young a career,
Don’t live in the past; plan a future: look forward to each added year.
Don’t sit around and sigh, and let the world pass you by,
Get with it, and stay with it, all you have to do is to try.

Be willing to forget yourself, for at least once in a while,
Place yourself second, and cause someone else to smile.
Kindness pays a thousand fold, this fact is more than true,
Try doing a favor here and there, and it will work for you.

Be willing to admit mistakes, humility is always grand,
The humble people are the ones that need a helping hand.
Be willing to work for what is right however rough the way,
For in the end the righteous always have the final say.

This life can be wonderful, tender and thrilling,
You can always find happiness, that is if you’re willing.
There’s a place for you in this world, work that needs to be done,
So make up your mind you’re not too old to try to help someone.

I’ve been in the business of staying young since I hit the forty mark,
And it’s a wonderful business, in which all of us can embark.
It gives you that happy feeling of starting your life anew,
But like any other business, it requires time and attention too!

So be in the business of staying young, and the heights of joy you will reach,
Make staying young your new career, and practice what you preach.
Age can be a frightening thing, if you let yourself fear it…
You can’t help being up in years, but need not be down in spirit.
Take pride in your appearance, always look up to par,
It’s a way of making others forget just how old you are.

I know I’m not indestructible, time is taking its toll,
But I have a goal to reach, and I know I’m not too old.
So get busy and be useful each day of your life on this earth
with your talents and your efforts, find a way to prove your worth.
And be grateful that you’re living in a world of youth today,
And you, too, can be youthful, if you think and live that way.

Always be serene and gentle: if in this life things don’t go your way,
Turn your left cheek, and be happy, to the unkind words that people say.
We’re living in a world that needs us, though it’s filled with envy, sin and strife.
Let’s help make it a better place, so all can plainly see,
That each hour we spend here, is part of our eternity.
So let us live from day to day, while here upon this earth,
To do someone a golden deed, and our duty let us not shirk.
-Author unknown

Not Old Yet

Who says senior citizens don’t wear stylish clothes. Hah!!


No matter where I go, there I am.

SENIOR CITIZENS

ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL, MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR KIDS!


Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,

What A Woman Wants In A Man

Original List (Age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet.

Taking A Woman To Bed

You tell her a story and take her to bed
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At 28
You don’t need to tell her a story
To take her to bed
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At 38
She tells you a story and takes you to bed
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At 48
She tells you a story to avoid going to bed
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At 58
You stay in bed to avoid her story
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At 68
If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story
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At 78
What story? What bed?
Who the hell are you?
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