Jewish Mother

Jewish Mom

A Jewish daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Irv.” All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece when it used to be the size of a nickel.”

Her mother says, “You’re married to a multimillionaire businessman, You live in an 8 Bedroom mansion, You drive a $250,000 Ferrari, You get $2,000 a week allowance, You take 6 vacations a year, and You want to throw all that away… Over 45 cents?”

Now that’s a Jewish mother!!!

 

Who Do I Live For

I live for MYSELF. I live to be a better person, happy, and grateful. I live to have a healthy life. I live for my husband, my dog, my family and friends. I live to travel, to learn, to enjoy each and every second life has to offer. I live to dream and enjoy all the beauty around me!

SIMPLE WAYS TO KEEP THE LITTLE THINGS FROM TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE

Following are some of my favorite excerpts from the book written by Dr. Richard Carlson, PH.D. entitled “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff..”

* The measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment;

*Life is filled with opportunities to choose between making a big deal out of something or simply letting it go. 

*If we choose our battles wisely, we’ll be far more effective in winning those that are truly important;

*Set aside quiet time every day – it is a vital part of our life;

*Smile at strangers, look into their eyes and say hello!;

*Life will usually go on if things don’t go according to plan.  It’s helpful to keep reminding ourselves that “Life isn’t an emergency;”

*Imagine Yourself at Your Own Funeral – doing so will remind us of the kind of person we want to be and the priorities that are important to us;

*Allow yourself to be bored – and if you don’t fight it, the feelings of boredom will be replaced with feelings of peace;

*Learn to Live in the Present Moment – Life is what’s happening while we are busy making other plans.  Now is the only time we have and the only time that we have any control over.  When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. 

*Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your “In Basket” Won’t Be Empty – Often we convince ourselves that our obsession with our “to do” list is only temporary – that once we get through the list, we’ll be calm, relaxed and happy.  But in reality this rarely happens.  As items are checked off, new ones simply replace them. The nature of our “in basket” is that it is meant to have items to be completed in it – it’s not meant to be empty.  Regardless of who we are or what we do, remember that nothing is more important than our own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of our loved ones.  Remember, when we die, there will still be unfinished business to take care of.  And you know what?  Someone else will do it for us! 

*Keep Asking Yourself, “What’s Really Important?” – Reminding ourselves of what’s really important help us keep our priorities straight.  It will remind us that despite our multitude of responsibilities, we have a choice of what is most important in our life.  If we regularly take a minute to check in with ourself and ask “what’s really important” we may find that some of the choices we are making are not that too important after all;

*Give Up on the Idea that “More Is Better” – Learning to be satisfied doesn’t mean we can’t, don’t or shouldn’t ever want more than we have, only that our happiness isn’t contingent on it.  We can learn to be happy with what we have by becoming more present-moment oriented, by not focusing so much on what we want.  As thoughts of what would make our life better enter our mind, gently remind yourself that, even if we got what we think we want, we wouldn’t be one bit more satisfied because the same mind-set that wants more now would want more then. 

*An excellent measure of happiness is the differential between what you have and what you want.  We can spend our lifetime wanting more, always chasing happiness – or we can simply decide to consciously want less.